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The Mother's Guide to Sex
Enjoying Your Sexuality Through All Stages of Motherhood
by Anne Semans and Cathy Winks
Written by the authors of The New Good Vibrations Guide to Sex and The Woman's Guide to Sex on the Web, The Mother's Guide to Sex is a good read for any woman who is pregnant or is a mother. As the back cover states, "Just because you're a mother, or about to become one, doesn't mean you have to kiss your sex life good-bye." However, this book is more than a "how-to guide" on keeping the sparks alive with your partner. It covers the gamut from The Building Blocks of Sexuality, The ABCs of Becoming a Mom, Reinventing Sex as a Parent, and Raising Sexually Healthy Children (including how to talk to your kids about sex).
The Building Blocks of Sexuality
The book begins with a chapter on Sexual Self-Esteem. Great sex starts with a positive body image. A couple of quotes grabbed my attention in this chapter . . . "Why do women fret more about how they look than how they feel? Because we are judged more on how we look than how we feel . . . . Nothing dampens libido more thoroughly than a negative body image."
I thought I knew most everything about female anatomy but I must confess . . . I didn't know where the G-spot is or if there really was such a thing. The authors say yes and go on to describe where it's located and that G-spot stimulation can lead to ejaculation, clear, odorless fluid that is ejaculated through the urethra. Learn something new every day!
What are those kegels for anyway? According to the authors, "if your pelvic muscles are well-toned, you'll have increased genital sensation, greater vaginal lubrication, and more powerful orgasms." Okay, that sounds like a great reason to kegel all day. But the authors also explain that kegels aid in preparation for labor and delivery and to speed postpartum recovery.
Did you know that the word "dildo" comes from the Italian word "diletto" which means delight?
The ABCs of Becoming a Mom
While this section discusses the many ways to conceive a baby including the "old-fashioned" way, sex during pregnancy and the postpartum mom chapters are especially valuable. The authors make it clear that however you feel (whether you have no libido whatsoever or crave sex 10 times a day), "honor your own experience." In other words, "how she (a pregnant woman) chooses to enact her sexuality is entirely up to her." Pregnant moms will find plenty of information regarding sex and pregnancy, when to proceed with caution, and positions for those "big belly" months.
Throughout these discussions, you'll find many quotes from real moms. Practically every woman will find a quote to relate to in this book!
Reinventing Sex as a Parent
"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many how-to books?" ~ Bette Midler
Bette's quote really describes sex as a parent. The authors remind us that it's only natural for passion to disappear with all the challenges of being a new parent (or even an experienced parent!). They have many suggestions for rekindling passion, empathy for why we may feel like forgetting we're sexual beings, how to expand our own definition of sex, and lots of inspiration and wisdom from other moms. Semans and Winks have even included information for single moms.
Raising Sexually Healthy Children
As the authors state, "You might have noticed that most of this book focuses on how to have a good sex life in spite of your children. But we also want you to have a good sex life because of your children." They discuss children's sexual development, why you shouldn't be asexual in front of your kids, and how to talk to your kids about sex (including kids of all ages). I know I personally won't be so afraid after reading this book of causing irreparable damage to my kids' psyches if they see me making love with my husband!
I found this book to be a very honest straightforward discussion on sex and sexuality that I've rarely found in other books. It answers many questions moms would be afraid to ask their care providers or maybe even another woman. The extensive quotes from other moms are really the icing on the cake! The book concludes with an extensive resource section on where to find more information on a wide variety of topics.
Visit our interview with the authors!
To Purchase:
• The Mother's Guide to Sex at Amazon.com
• The Mother's Guide to Sex at Amazon Canada
• The Mother's Guide to Sex at Amazon UK
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